I grew up an anxious kid afraid to speak my mind in fear of looking stupid in front of classmates. Discussions would occur, and I would never be amongst them due to the potential backlash of either a silly statement or question. This fear unfortunately consumed me and hindered many learning opportunities. Even outside of class and school I was the same, someone may have said an absurd statement or probed a ludicrous question, and I would still refuse to be candid. It was my biggest regret as a child, caring so much about what people thought. The funniest part is regardless of how one acts, people will always form preconceived opinions no matter who you’re. Prejudice behaviour is prevalent in today’s society, we subconsciously judge even when we’re trying hard not to. Although, I’m sure this is how it’s always been.
Reminiscing about it as I write reminds me that there was more to it. It wasn’t just being labelled as stupid that prevented my opinions from being shared. It was losing friends, being outcasted, and having tension among schoolmates. All in all, I was a people pleaser and a pushover, both traits paired together are disastrous. Not for those receiving it but for those possessing it. On the other hand, you shouldn’t be hostile toward everyone otherwise that’s considered outright vindictive. Let’s begin this blog.
Is it bad to speak up?
It can result in a negative way if you do not assess your surroundings and environment. There is a time and place to address concerns, opinions, and views. 9 times out of 10 speaking up for your principles will not cause any sort of backlash, that is only if your views aren’t disrespectful or involve hate. Most of the time people refuse to speak up purely because they do not want to involve themselves in arguments or be seen as a difficult individual.
Afraid of how others perceive you –
The majority do not wish to cause animosity in group-related situations and that’s perfectly normal. However, not voicing your opinion and your feelings just because you don’t want to cause a conundrum is cowardly behaviour.
I’ve worked my fair share in retail, the slandering and backbiting are common when employees don’t get their way or are mistreated. Rather than speaking their mind, they bite their tongue and put up with the unjust system. Ultimately, allowing those in the higher-ranking positions to control and get away with their behaviour.
There were many occasions when my colleagues remained quiet when they were upset with a decision, the most common issue was rota or task delegation. It would seem as though some individuals were given better shifts than others. Yet, instead of speaking their mind and doing something about it, they carried on as normal. I would ask why they wouldn’t say anything, and the most repeated answers were “it’s not a big deal”, which was ironic to say the least as they bickered about how unfair it was.
Why do I care?
Too many of us worry about getting along with our peers as if it’s a prerequisite in life. We will never wholly be accepted in society with the judgment we experience. Learn to tolerate those around you, speak your mind (respectfully), and remember no one cares about you as much as they do themselves. Don’t let arrogance be the determining factor holding you back. Yes, it’s arrogance. If you care so much what others think and don’t want to be portrayed a certain way. That’s your arrogant self telling you to act according to someone else’s principles, so you don’t look stupid or strange. It’s frustrating to see only a minority have their own views, afraid to cause division or upset, be courteous, and speak up.