How do you handle advice?
I’ve always handled receiving advice/criticism pretty well even if it does hurt the ego. I try my best not to let it show unless it was unsolicited, then, I’m waging war. Whereas, giving advice I’d say I’m not too bad at. Of course, there have been some instances where my manners could have been better which, I’d say is more important than the advice itself. We’ve all given advice that people turn a blind eye to. When it comes to conveying the intended message, it can all go south if our delivery is off.
Advising people is done by everyone, we love to give our input into everything and help unless, your intention isn’t to help but rather patronize. Receiving it on the other hand is a different story.
Giving advice
Stepping in dangerous territory here, not only do we need to watch what we say but how we say it can trigger various reactions. Our aim is to help the advisee and for them to understand we only wish to want better for them. Unsolicited advice, given or received, be it was intentional or not, isn’t relevant. You see someone who needs some advice, so you sincerely help them, but they take it the wrong way or they’re not as grateful as expected. I’ve had this happen several times and it’s not a situation you can necessarily avoid. If your input is genuine and what you’ve conveyed is solid advice, then the outcome isn’t something you should be worrying about.
The gym is a perfect example. If you’ve been to the gym, there has definitely been a moment where a member is performing an exercise incorrectly and you don’t have the heart to tell them they’re doing it wrong. What will this person say? How will they react? You can either let someone else intervene (which is unlikely as they’re probably thinking the same thing), let them continue as they’re mature adults; they can find out themselves or you can approach them and be candid. Moments like these, it’s all about the approach, if you’re rude and straight up, tell them they’re doing it wrong, and expect a cold response. If you truly wish to help someone and your biggest concern is what they’ll think, get over yourself.
Receiving advice
Hearing advice or taking criticism must always be done with an open mind even if the one providing advice has no business in giving it. This is the ego we’re playing with here so to make it easy on ourselves, we shouldn’t take offence rather, we should take what’s good and leave the bad. Push that ego aside for a minute.
From my experience, it matters who I’m receiving the advice from. If an expert is advising on the issue, then it’s a lot easier to digest and acknowledge the information. Whereas when it’s the average person, the ego is at stake. The feeling of being inferior can cause us to act harshly, especially when we’re being undermined.
Set aside your arrogance in times of criticism and put on your student cap. Learn, implement, and grow.